Posted by Anonymous on 2018/11/30 under Kids God, Please help me un-nurse these economical resentments I have towards Bert, Gertov and M.? I don't know if it's about finances as much as it is about justice? I want my cut? I want a fair trial and I want to get what I am owed. But it seems like for some reason Gertov is getting to go to college (I had to have a son at 13, I had to lose out on an education and I lost all my friends, relatives, self-respect and esteem. It doesn't seem fair that just because she has traits that are similar to Temple, Shirley and the Pepsi commercial girl that she gets all these attentions? I feel like just because of the phallic body I was created with and the facial hair and the testicles and the smelly excresences and so forth that I don't deserve. Or because I inherited the addicted gene and so forth that I cannot be trusted (which I agree with partly because I have failed to live up to peoples trust so many times. But I just want some grace regarding me trying to be just a happy individual consciousness. I don't feel like I've ever been trusted to make decisions for myself. (Am I just babbling? I don't know.)))))))) I am not cute, sexy or charming. I don't have economical qualities and so forth. I don't know what I have. I know what I like to do! I like to write, read, TV, walk, eat, sleep, shower, meditate, so forth and I like promoting these things so that I can sort of promote my lack of self in a way. Just promoting the work (itself) ultimately. But nobody really understands this way of being (thinking? is it thinking?) they just think I'm being a materialism of emptiness and vaccuumm of greed and resentment and anger, rage and putrefaction. I don't know. The longer I sit the less I want, so I'm just trying to continue to sit until there is nothing left to want. I hope this might happen for me. No matter how long I sit, mind us, I will never become a special anything. Which is just the strangest thing and kind of liberating but not to those I share a house with. If one isn't moving it's like there's no economy flowing so I'm just praying that God can intervene and make the emptiness more empty. I just wanted to vent these feelings of injustice I feel even if they are contradictory and invalid and I am not deserving. I accept that I am a struggling 27 year old and that I have suffered a lot of different kinds of things (? things? are they things?) and that is okay and that God is creating a vessel in and of me that fits me like a glove and so forth. I hope that might be okay I. Silently Anonymous, -The Archer
4 thoughts on “Debtors Anonymous”
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Shirley Temple and Temple Grandin (is there a connnection or just a conspiracy to trick us into walking into the slaughterhouse of doom?)
(sad face).
Blaming the blameless on the no-fault illness of existence?
I feel very subconscious when anyone does that.
Gregory Lawrence Eidson starring in a production of the geek who couldn’t sleep. Coming to home theater near Ullrich and You!